It's..... The happiest blog on earth

The Oompah Loompahs were even scarier in the original book.

In Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, they sing their stern judgments with extensive and gleeful details about the fates of the bad children.

For example, Augustus Gloop.

A hundred knives go slice, slice, slice;
We add some sugar, cream, and spice;
We boil him for a minute more,
Until we're absolutely sure....

For Tim Burton's movie, Danny Elfman changed that lyric to "We boil it for a minute more..."

Elfman sang, produced, and wrote music for all the songs. But Dahl's lyrics were apparently so vicious, that Elfman had to trim out most of them.

As an example, here's Roald Dahl's original lyrics for the Augustus Gloop song. Italics show the only lines that Danny Elfman kept.

Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop!
The great big greedy nincompoop!

How long could we allow this beast
To gorge and guzzle, feed and feast
On everything he wanted to?
Great Scott! It simply wouldn't do!

However long this pig might live,
We're positive he'd never give
Even the smallest bit of fun
Or happiness to anyone.

So what we do in cases such
As this, we use the gentle touch,
And carefully we take the brat
And turn him into something that

Will give great pleasure to us all --
A doll, for instance, or a ball,
Or marbles or a rocking horse.
But this revolting boy, of course,

Was so unutterably vile,
So greedy, foul, and infantile

He left a most disgusting taste
Inside our mouths, and so in haste

We chose a thing that, come what may,
Would take the nasty taste away.

'Come on!' we cried, 'The time is ripe
To send him shooting up the pipe!

He has to go! It has to be!'
And very soon, he's going to see
Inside the room to which he's gone
Some funny things are going on.

But don't, dear children, be alarmed;
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed,
Although, of course, we must admit
He will be altered quite a bit.

He'll be quite changed from what he's been,
When he goes through the fudge machine:

Slowly, wheels go round and round,
and cogs begin to grind and pound;

A hundred knives go slice, slice, slice;
We add some sugar, cream, and spice;

We boil [it] for a minute more,
Until we're absolutely sure

That all the greed and all the gall
Is boiled away for once and all.

Then out he comes! And now! By grace!
A miracle has taken place!

This boy, who only just before
Was loathed by men from shore to shore,

This greedy brute, this louse's ear,
Is loved by people everywhere!
For who could hate or bear a grudge
Against a luscious bit of fudge?"

But to be fair, 34 years ago, I remember a kid on the playground talking about Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. He'd read the book - "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" - and through the entire movie he'd waited to hear the Oompah Loompahs sing...
"Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, The great big greedy nincompoop!"
But they didn't.

I wonder if he'd even remember that conversation. But I did. Saturday, watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. When the Oompah Loompahs finally sang...

"Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, The great big greedy nincompoop!"